Almost there...

Wednesday, February 06, 2002

Just for the record, I'm feeling a lot better today. Going to the Plough on Monday was the right answer. I got to dance a few waltzes, hobble through the Haymaker's Jig, and gimp through my very favorite dance, A Trip to the Cottage. Probably shouldn't have done that, but it's my favorite. What was more important than just the dancing was being hugged and snuggled and loved on within an inch of my existance. Everyone took really good care of me. I love the feel of Monday nights at the Plough. I've been to the Plough on other days and times, and most of the time it's just a grubby little corner bar. But Monday nights, it's a magical place. Rollie and Bates and Dawn and Chris and Anthony and Will and Christyn and Josh and Paul and Sean all listened to me, hugged me, and confirmed for me that it was just awful what they were doing to me. Somehow, having everyone else be part of my experience as well made it okay for me to let it go.

Anyway, I think I've finally had a chance to process it all and I'm just not feeling so depressed as I was. I'm ready to start taking action again rather than just melting down. The next step is to re-do my resume. I want to make it more accomplishment based rather than job history based. Once I have that done I'll start sending it around. In the meantime, I've got some good tasks to do for this project that I'm actually looking forward to that are something besides just being the queen of tech support. I also went to lunch with my current manager today and told her where I was at, and filling her in helped me feel more at ease in my skin, and it helped her feel better too. Anyway, things are starting to look less black, even if it's only because I'm recovering consciousness and seeing the world again instead of just the inside of my eyelids. Whew!


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