Almost there...

Monday, March 18, 2002

Lazy weekend. Didn't end up doing any of the things I'd planned on, except for seeing Ice Age, which was certainly cute. We were planning to go to Sacramento on Sunday for a St. Patty's Day party at Tate's house, but it was raining so we opted for being lazy instead. On Saturday we were supposed to go to a picnic in Golden Gate park, but it was starting earlier than we wanted to be up and out, so we had Cy & Athena over for breakfast, which turned into an afternoon of video games for the boys and browsing the new Pride & Prejudice DVD for Athena and I. All in all, laziness struck hard, and left little behind beyond several slothful couch potatoes.

Back at work today, we're working on making sure the payroll runs smoothly this time. We had Chinese food brought in. My fortune cookie says "Bide your time, for success is near." I've been biding my time, but I have no idea how I would define success. If Delphi offers me a job, is that success? If so, it's a bitter sweet success, being hired into a position I don't feel safe taking because the project is going badly, and it will put me into the same situation I'm in now less than a year later. If the Administrative Systems group offers me a job, is that success? If so, it's a scary place to be - one where it's been stated repeatedly that I will not fit (as a team player), where I will always been the second choice. No, truly, at this point, the Help Desk Lead position, which is a position that drives my career in a direction I wasn't planning on, but which might be positive, is the only direction I can perceive as success. Of course, it's only a fortune cookie, full of random prognostications, signifying nothing. Maybe I should just play the numbers below it in the Lottery. I'd count that as success too. Heck, the best success is not having to work. I'd love to just go back to school and study to my heart's content until I was really ready to do something important. And to travel the world as well. Yeah. Oh well. Probably I'll just continue biding my time, waiting for something to happen.


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