Almost there...

Monday, March 01, 2004

Work continues to be unbearable. It seems to be a rare day that I make it to 10:30 lately without wanting to cry or quit. Today was no exception. It's sad when I start to envy others total joblessness and destitution. I could quit, but dammit, part of why this is killing me is because I have my heart invested in my work. I feel a genuine drive to make things right here and to fight the fight until I make the very best of the situation, hopefully being totally vindicated in the end.

But those I thought would be allies turn out to be enemies. Those I try to trust now are burdened with my distrust of everyone and everything around me. And poor Rick just gets to hear all about it every night. That boy deserves a medal.

Anyway, it will get better. I just wish I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. All my plans for losing weight by my birthday are out the window since my only refuge is to run away at lunch and since favorite foods are a source of comfort. My new goal is to continue holding under 150. That might be possible. It will get better. It will. It just sucks right now.


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