Almost there...

Monday, February 04, 2008

Reevaluating

Okay, so I'm stepping back from the madness this week. I don't perform well when there's a lot of negative feedback, and I've just reached a place where I'm pretty sure that part of the Remedy project team doesn't want or value my contributions. With the knowledge in place, I feel like I need to do some self-preservation. So, if Remedy would be keeping me at work late, I'm going to opt to get done what I can during the normal work day and then walk away.

How'd I get there? Well, the moment of clarity came last week when I sent an updated training plan to the team list. Then one of the team members (whose job is neither in the documentation nor the training department) sent out a revised training schedule. I asked for a meeting about that and we got together on Wednesday. On Thursday he sent another revised training schedule that did not include the changes we discussed. Hmm. So I send a polite note asking about the most important change and get back a message the next morning saying that he opted not to "take my suggestion". Um... suggestion? I had had a meeting where we came to an agreement. I didn't realize that that was merely a suggestion. Well, now he had my hackles up. So, I wrote back a very direct note about why this would be a problem. In this situation, we had to identify people for a new role, and he had said on Wednesday that only 2 people had been identified thus far, and I suggested a way to get more folks identified and suggested we postpone the training until we had more folks identified rather than having two training sessions for two people. We laughed, and he said, "Yes, sounds good." So in my note, I expressed this issue to the whole team list. He wrote back that he'd look into adding more sessions later. Meanwhile, someone else took the initiative to pursue my original suggestion to help quickly identify people for the role. Crisis averted, but it wasn't pretty.

The more I thought about it, the less good I felt about it all. We could discuss til the cows came home, but apparently nothing I said mattered to this person, and ultimately he was the one who would own the product going forward, so why should I work like crazy to make things better for him and the folks who had to use this if he didn't want me to be involved?

So I'm stepping back. I'm going out to dinner before the ceili tonight. I'm planning to go home at 6pm tomorrow. I'm turning my attention to other projects. I will not give my all someplace where it won't be appreciated. I've discussed this with my manager and my director and they're supportive (and slightly anxious). But they really want to see me going home at a reasonable hour too.

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