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Sunday, September 20, 2009

Ammy: 0, Yard: 3

How come people frequently describe themselves as "outdoorsy" but you never hear anyone say they're "indoorsy?" Heck, even my spell checker in Firefox says outdoorsy is a word and draws a little red line under indoorsy. The time has come to change that. I'm an indoorsy kind of person. Well, mostly anyway. I'm really good at lots of indoor activities. Outside is where that giant flaming ball of gas lives and tries to fry me to a crisp.

Suffice to say, my yard and I didn't get along well this weekend. I got a bit of tree in my eye. Having done this before and knowing better, I should've been wearing goggles, but I said it aloud, then went back to my trimming like a fool. Moments later, I was fumbling down the step-ladder, sliding off first one glove and then the other, throwing away the clippers and running to the bathroom. All the flushing and splashing and rinsing and blinking did nothing to make it feel better. I thought I got it and that things must be just irritated, but hours later, there was still stabbing pain. Careful inspection found something blackish way up under my eyelid. A syringe of water shot at it finally dislodged. But oh lordy, my eye was so angry with me. Meanwhile, I'd stabbed my hand with a rose bush and it was getting infected rapidly. That required soaking til I could pull out the leftover thorny bit with a needle. The next day, while cleaning out my dryer vent with the ShopVac, a bee stung me in the armpit. This, as it turns out, is an inconvenient place for a bee sting because your arm brushes against your shirt when you walk. Sigh. I'm actually looking forward to going back to the office tomorrow where I sit safely in a comfy chair and do work that doesn't involve nature.

On the other hand, thanks to much help from my dad and Erik, my yard now contains a few loose leaves and twigs, one fruit tree, one flower tree, one other tree, a small rosemary bush and a few calla lillies. Also, a lot of bare dirt. Also, my garage has electricity that runs through an actual conduit to a junction box. This is a novel experience for me after five years of having an extension cord stretched across my back yard. I really should've taken before and after pictures, but I didn't realize what we were getting into until it was well underway. My dryer vent has been blown and vacuumed out, removing five years of accumulated lint. There is also a four foot by eighteen foot pile of yard trimmings in front of my house. We'll see what happens when the trash guys come on Thursday. Either, it will magically disappear, or I'll call the city and see about other options. The next weed that dares to grow back there is getting yanked out immediately. It shall remain bare dirt until an actual plan is hatched for proper use of the space.

And let me just say again: Thank you so much to Erik and my dad. This couldn't have happened without your help. I'm so grateful to walk out to flat ground rather than the angst and frustration of the overgrown mess.


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